


Meaning of an Action

by coockie8



Series: Complimentary Quirks [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Autism Spectrum, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Snake Mom, Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 14:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20259433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coockie8/pseuds/coockie8
Summary: Kidomaru overthinks his and Kimimaro's relationship, and it sends him into a downward spiral of self-loathing.





	Meaning of an Action

**Author's Note:**

> Oh waiter, I'll take one heavily projecting my own demons and insecurities onto a bone boi, a spider boi, and a snek boi please!

Back at the hideout, the mission having been completed, the only thing on Kidomaru’s mind was Kimimaro. He hadn’t been slammed by a crush so hard since when he first met Sakon, who’d brutally rejected his affections. At the time he’d said it was because he wasn’t interested in a relationship, but they both knew it was because Sakon was just as creeped out by Kidomaru’s spider-like appearance as everyone else.

But Kimimaro… He didn’t care, in fact, he seemed to like it. Kidomaru figured it was because having six arms and three eyes was somehow still less weird than being able to rip your own spine out and grow it back.

He flinched a bit and glanced up when Tayuya started yelling at Jirobo. God, this team gave him a headache. Kimimaro didn’t really hang out with the rest of the sound five. He spent all his time training, with Orochimaru, or off doing God only knows what. Kidomaru wanted to see him so badly right now. 

The morning after their little sexcapade, Tayuya had grilled Kidomaru about the marks and the limp. He’d, of course, just ignored her, but that didn’t mean she’d relented in the least.

Now, he was curled up on the couch, swooning over Kimimaro, who wasn't even there. Sakon had joined in on whatever Tayuya and Jirobo were arguing about. He was getting a headache. He stood from the couch and left the room, intent on going above ground to get some fresh air.

He knew it had probably just been Kimimaro blowing off steam, no doubt stressed out about getting sick, but Kidomaru couldn't help his feelings. If it had been just a rough, one time fuck, it would've been different. But Kimimaro had called him beautiful, and now he was screwed.

Kidomaru took a deep breath as reached the surface. He'd hopelessly fallen for someone who was probably just looking for a good time, which was perfectly valid, but now he hated himself even more. He flopped down against a tree and cradled his head in his hands, knees pulled up to his chest.

"Are you upset?" Kimimaro's voice questioned.

Kidomaru lifted his head to look at his leader

"I mean… Not really. Bit of a headache," He assured, lying through his teeth.

Kimimaro sat down next to him and rested his head against his shoulders. Kidomaru swallowed thickly, blushing like crazy. Kimimaro had no intention of making this easy on him, did he? Kidomaru lowered his gaze, just stewing in his own self-loathing as Kimimaro let out a content sigh

“You’re very warm,” Kimimaro commented blissfully “Is that just how you are, or are you sick?"

Kidomaru glanced down at him, technically it was because he was nervous, and maybe a little horny

“That’s just how I am, I guess,” He muttered with a little shrug.

Kimimaro sat up when Kidomaru shrugged, possibly thinking he was being shrugged off. Kidomaru flinched, that hadn’t been his intention, but what was he supposed to say? ‘Don’t pull away, I like when you touch me’? Yeah right.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Kimimaro pushed, actually looking visibly concerned.

Kidomaru cleared his throat and blushed deeper

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” He stammered, betraying his statement.

Kimimaro leaned back against the tree

“I hope our exploit didn’t make you uncomfortable. Causing you physical or emotional distress was never my intention, I promise,” He soothed.

Kidomaru tightened his grip on his legs, pulling his knees closer to his chest. Now he felt even worse

“I am  _ not  _ emotionally distressed,” He huffed, because focusing on that one specific thing totally didn’t draw attention to it.

Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the ever-observant Kimimaro

“Why are you emotionally distressed? Was it something I said?” He worried.

Kidomaru averted his gaze

“No! I… It’s me. I’m stupid, that’s all,” He muttered.

Kimimaro frowned and pursed his lips together

“Why are you so cruel to yourself?”

Kidomaru flinched at that question and peeked up at Kimimaro, who looked incredibly distressed

“Well… I guess ‘cause it’s true,” He admitted softly “I really don’t get what you see in me…”

Kimimaro tilted his head in clear confusion before shifting so he was completely facing Kidomaru

“What do  _ you  _ see in you?” He asked.

Kidomaru tightened his grip on his legs, bringing his two other pairs of arms up to join the first pair; he  _ really  _ didn’t want to have this conversation

“I’m… Book smart, and effective in battle….” He mumbled.

Kimimaro nodded, like he was expecting Kidomaru to continue, but that was really all he had. As far as he was concerned, those were his only positive traits. Kimimaro slowly slumped a bit when he realized Kidomaru wasn’t going to continue

“That’s all?” He breathed.

Kidomaru shrugged and nodded

“That’s all.”

Kimimaro lowered his gaze for a moment before shifting closer

“That isn’t all, although those statements are both accurate,” He stated firmly “You’re vibrant, and passionate, and friendly, and beautiful.”

Kidomaru’s eyes widened and he blushed deeply. Vibrant? Friendly?  _ Beautiful _ ? Was Kimimaro stoned? Or nuts? Nuts, he had to be nuts.

“And I find you to be quite satisfying sexually.”

Kidomaru choked a bit at that comment and he reached up to ruffle two hands through his hair, pulling his hair tie loose.

“You’re so weird,” He muttered, voice further muffled by the hands he’d brought up to cover his face.

Kimimaro pursed his lips together

“Why? Because I find you to be a wonderful and enjoyable companion?” He teased lightly.

Kidomaru peeked up at him, tears welling up in his eyes. This hurt too much. Kimimaro was naive and strange, sure, but this was too perfect. It  _ had  _ to be a lie.

Kimimaro flinched back, fear and confusion in his eyes at the sight of Kidomaru’s expression; had he done something wrong? Was it disrespectful to say those things about people?

“O-Oh,” He stammered “Please don’t cry, I… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Kidomaru sniffled and wiped his eyes before standing

“Just forget it,” He mumbled before fleeing back into the hideout.

Kimimaro blinked in confusion before standing. He would have to lay the situation out to someone who was a little better versed in social norms than he was, to gage what he’d done so horribly wrong. Kabuto wasn’t one to actually  _ help  _ in anyway, and Kimimaro didn’t really like any of his other teammates aside from Kidomaru, so Orochimaru was his best bet.

“Lord Orochimaru?” He chirped, peeking into Orochimaru’s room, where he was lounging in bed, looking defeated.

He had slow days occasionally, where he would sort of just mope around for a solid twenty-four hours, but he would always be fine the next day. He hung his head over the side of his bed to look at Kimimaro and smiled slightly

“Yes?” He hummed.

Kimimaro knelt down next to the bed

“I’m having a bit of a social dilemma,” He started.

“And you’ve come to be above Kabuto because you would like it to actually be resolved?”

Kimimaro nodded, watching as Orochimaru sat up before standing to sit on the edge of the bed. Orochimaru tended to drop all pretenses of respect and control on days like this, and sort of became like an odd parental figure. These were ‘cuddle in bed with weird snake-mom’ days. Kimimaro was fond of these days.

“Tell me what happened?” Orochimaru hummed, wrapping an arm around Kimimaro and holding him close.

Kimimaro rested his head against Orochimaru’s chest and sighed heavily

“I’m fond of Kidomaru.  _ Very  _ fond. But he seems to really hate himself,” He explained.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes slightly but didn’t comment. 

“I attempted complimenting him, to help him feel better, but it seems I’ve only made the situation worse,” Kimimaro continued, confusion and frustration evident in his tone.

Orochimaru chuckled softly

“That’s because Kidomaru doesn’t like himself,” He informed, only furthering Kimimaro’s confusion.

Orochimaru corded his fingers through Kimimaro’s hair

“Someone that deep into self-loathing can’t fathom someone feeling anything for them but that same hate. They desperately want to be loved, but they can’t process that they are worthy of it, so when someone does show them affection, they become hurt, thinking it’s all a lie, or a joke.”

Kimimaro flinched and lowered his gaze

“But… It isn’t. I really do think he’s wonderful…” He mumbled dejectedly.

Orochimaru nuzzled Kimimaro’s hair

“ _ I  _ know that, and  _ you  _ know that, but Kidomaru doesn’t. And in his current state, it isn’t likely that he ever will. He can’t get passed his own crippling self-hatred.”

Kimimaro glanced up at Orochimaru, he seemed to be quite familiar with the concept. Of course, Kimimaro knew why. It was where these days came from. A constant uphill battle, desperately trying to convince yourself that you’re worthy of love, and affection. That what other people think of you, or what other people have done to you, doesn’t define your worth. But sometimes, you’re just too tired to keep fighting that hill, and you have to stop and take a rest. It’s okay to have off days.

“Are you hurting?” He asked softly.

Orochimaru’s hand stilled for a moment before he continued to gently pet Kimimaro

“Yes. But I’m not hating myself, don’t worry,” He soothed “I just… Miss someone.”

Kimimaro tilted his head; ah, yes. Jiraiya. He sat up, this was not a topic to be discussed, no matter how loose and tired Orochimaru was at the moment

“How can I fix what I’ve done?” He asked.

Orochimaru hummed and closed his eyes

“I don’t know,” He admitted “I don’t think  _ you _ can. Kidomaru needs to work through this on his own, but that doesn’t mean you can’t explain yourself, and tell him how you feel about him.”

Kimimaro nodded and nuzzled Orochimaru’s cheek, earning an affection little coo, before he left. He made his way through the winding halls of the hideout to the sound four’s living quarters. They had their own little common area, and each their own room. He entered, not bothering to knock, and looked around. Tayuya looked up from the magazine she was reading, where she was sitting on Jirobo’s back on the floor

“What do  _ you  _ want?” She huffed, not one to intelligently pick her battles.

“Kidomaru, where is he?”

Tayuya scoffed and looked back down at her magazine, kicking Jirobo in the ribs when he groaned

“That crybaby? In his room,” She grumbled.

Kimimaro narrowed his eyes at her, she needed to learn when enough was enough. He shook his head, she was not his priority, and headed to Kidomaru’s room, knocking politely, to which Tayuya scoffed and grumbled under her breath

“Not in the mood, go away!” Kidomaru called through the door.

Kimimaro flinched and lowered his hand, averting his gaze. Now what? He hadn’t really thought about what he would do if he was refused. Normally, he’d just walk in regardless, but that didn’t feel appropriate for such a… Sensitive situation. Sakon’s door opened and a very sleepy looking Ukon stumbled out only to collapse onto the couch and immediately fall asleep. Kimimaro blinked at him in confusion. Why? When he had literally  _ just  _ been in a perfectly fine room, with a bed? He shook his head and decided not to bother, turning his attention back to Kidomaru’s room.

“Kidomaru, it’s me,” He informed.

He waited for a moment for an answer, and flinched when the door opened just slightly. Kimimaro glanced around the room for a second; was he supposed to go in? Was this an invitation? He decided yes, and entered the room, closing the door behind him. A spider landed on his shoulder from somewhere on the ceiling and he tilted his head at it

“Hello,” He greeted before gently shooing it away.

Kidomaru was curled up on his bed, under the covers, making a nice mound in the center of the bed. Kimimaro sat down on the edge of the bed and gently touched what he assumed was Kidomaru’s back

“I understand that I overwhelmed you before, with my praise, and I wanted to apologize for making you feel bad. It wasn’t my intention,” He soothed softly “The truth is, I really like you, and I was trying to express that. I’m sorry if my attempt was clumsy.”

The mound shifted before Kidomaru peeked out from under the covers, all three eyes open for once

“You like me?” He mumbled.

Kimimaro nodded, letting a shy smile slip, cheeks flushing softly

“Yes… Very much so.”

Kidomaru sat up, letting the covers fall to pool in his lap. His hair was taken down, and he was in nothing but some loose fitting sweats. The rim around his eyes was red from crying. Kimimaro shifted closer and gently kissed him on the cheek

“Please don’t cry,” He soothed “I feel awful that I hurt you so badly.”

Kidomaru bit his lip and blushed deeply, reaching up to wipe his eyes. Kimimaro nuzzled his cheek before kissing him again. Kidomaru tilted his head to touch his shoulders and giggled softly, blushing deeply

“Q-Quit it,” He stammered bashfully.

Kimimaro shifted closer and wrapped his arms around Kidomaru’s waist, pulling him into a gentle kiss. Kidomaru was quick to wrap all his arms around Kimimaro and deepen the kiss considerably, nearly knocking them both over. Kimimaro shuddered slightly at the sudden need and pushed Kidomaru down onto the bed. He flinched when something landed on his back and he broke the kiss to look over his shoulder, locking eyes with the many of a hand-sized spider

“Yes?” He cooed.

Kidomaru lifted his head to see what Kimimaro was looking at and snorted a little giggle, that made Kimimaro’s heart melt

“Hey pretty lady,” Kidomaru greeted, gently shooing her away “Daddy needs his space right now.”

Kimimaro blushed deeply; how  _ adorable _ .

“Sorry about that, they get clingy whenever I have guests,” Kidomaru mumbled bashfully “I think they get a little jealous. We can go to your room if they creep you out.”

Kimimaro just smiled and leaned down to capture Kidomaru’s lips in another kiss. Being locked in a dark, damp cell for the majority of his youth meant Kimimaro was used to things crawling on him, so the spiders didn’t bother him in the least. Kidomaru wrapped his arms around Kimimaro’s neck and melted into the attention. Kimimaro reluctantly broke the kiss to sit back and strip, taking a moment to look around the room.

It was dark, and  _ filled  _ with spider webs, as well as the spiders to go with them. Big and small. The room wasn’t big enough to house Kyodaigumo, but Kimimaro was sure she’d be there if it could. He turned his attention back to Kidomaru, who seemed embarrassed by the state of his dwelling. Kimimaro figured to any normal person, this room would be a nightmare, but Kimimaro found it oddly homey. Like his little cell. But with Kidomaru, so less lonely.

“Really…” Kidomaru mumbled, nervously rubbing his hands together “We can go to your room if mine creeps you out or something.”

Kimimaro smiled and shook his head

“I find it to be quite homey, actually,” He assured before tossing the covers aside and slowly easing Kidomaru’s pants off.

Kidomaru relaxed against the bed and blushed deeply, spreading his legs once his pants were off

“You’re weird,” He huffed, averted his gaze.

Kimimaro nuzzled his nose before wrapping a hand around his shaft, which had already grown to half mast. Kidomaru whimpered and bucked his hips slightly

“O-Okay, wait,” He worried “Th-These rooms are  _ not  _ sound proof.”

Kimimaro tilted his head, a devious little smirk slipping

“Is that so?” He purred, squeezing the head of Kidomaru’s cock, making him yelp before he quickly covered his mouth.

Kimimaro glanced over at the door before looking down at Kidomaru

“You don’t want them to hear how much pleasure I bring you?” He cooed.

Kidomaru cleared his throat and lowered his hand

“D-Don’t say it like that, you make me feel like a jerk,” He huffed.

Kimimaro hummed and pressed a kiss to his lips as he continued to slowly jerk him off, swallow his little moans and whimpers. He wanted to make Kidomaru moan as loud as possible, but if he was uncomfortable with the others hearing him, Kimimaro could live without it. He pulled away and kissed the tip of Kidomaru’s nose

“Would you like to attempt a dominant roll?” He asked.

Kidomaru swallowed thickly and shook his head

“No, it’s cool. You can top,” He breathed.

Kimimaro cocked an eyebrow and smirked; so eager to please. He squeezed the head again, and Kidomaru whimpered, humping up into Kimimaro’s hand. Kimimaro hummed contently and leaned down, placing a feather-light kiss to the lid of Kidomaru’s third eye

“I love how you look,” He purred “So identifiable. So unique, and perfect.”

Kidomaru shuddered and covered his face with his hands

“C’mon, I’m not  _ that  _ great…” He mumbled.

Kimimaro showered Kidomaru with affection nuzzles and little kisses

“But you are. To me, you are,” He chirped.

Kidomaru swatted him away and bit and sat up

“Who knew you were so mushy,” He huffed.

Kimimaro glanced around the room again

“Do you have lubricant?” He wondered.

Kidomaru leaned over to reach under the bed, becoming stern at what he saw

“Hey! You let go of that, it’s not yours!” He scolded, immediately after which a foot-long tarantula scurried out from under the bed to hide under the bedside table.

Kidomaru returned with the lube, brushing webs off it

“Got it,” He cooed.

The hearts in Kimimaro’s eyes for this adorable spider-geek were almost visible. Kidomaru froze at the look in Kimimaro’s eyes and he blushed deeply

“W-What?” He stammered bashfully “My children are unruly.”

Kimimaro covered his mouth to silence a chuckle

“You’re adorable,” He praised, making Kidomaru blush even deeper and rub the back of his neck sheepishly.

He placed a quick kiss to Kidomaru’s lips before grabbing the bottle of lube and slicking up his fingers

“Lie back, please?” He requested “I intend to watch your expressions this time.”

Kidomaru huffed softly but did as he was asked, spreading his legs to give Kimimaro room to work, gasping when he was slowly breached

“A little warning next time,” He scolded.

Kimimaro tilted his head

“I figure asking you to lie back was warning enough,” He teased.

Kidomaru scoffed and averted his gaze before squeezing his eyes shut and whimpered when Kimimaro started working him open. He tossed his head back and panted heavily, grinding down on Kimimaro’s hand, whimpering desperately. Kimimaro jabbed Kidomaru’s prostate, making him cry out before quickly yanking his hand away and cursing when a two-inch, fuzzy little spider sank her fangs into him. Kidomaru winced before quickly sitting up and grabbing the spider

“Mochi! No!” He exclaimed.

Kimimaro rubbed the little, bleeding puncture wounds

“I’m not going to die, am I?” He chuckled.

Kidomaru gently tossed the spider, Mochi was apparently her name, aside. The fact that they, apparently, all had names made Kimimaro feel fuzzy. It was  _ too  _ adorable.

“No, no. She’s non-toxic,” He assured “Sorry about that. Guess she thought you were hurting me.”

Kimimaro rubbed the wound again and Kidomaru winced apologetically

“That offer to change rooms is still open,” He suggested.

Kimimaro shook his head

“No. Your  _ children  _ need to learn that I’m not a threat. My only intention here is to make you feel  _ good _ ,” He purred, pushing Kidomaru back down on the bed.

Kidomaru swallowed nervously before letting out a little sob when Kimimaro sank his fingers back into him. Kimimaro knew he would probably suffer  _ many  _ more spider bites over the course of his and Kidomaru’s budding relationship, but he decided it was well worth it, just to see Kidomaru happy, and not drowning in self-loathing. Kimimaro focused on the task at hand, diligently working Kidomaru open, he didn’t want a painful repeat of last time

“Please remember to inform me if I’m causing you any pain or discomfort,” He reminded while tugging his fingers free.

Kidomaru nodded, watching Kimimaro slick his cock up with wide eyes. He spread his legs a little wider and wrapped his arms around Kimimaro’s neck as he got comfortable. Kimimaro pressed a kiss to Kidomaru’s lips as he slowly sunk into him, swallowing Kidomaru’s desperate little cry. He could feel something crawling across his back and he broke the kiss to look over his shoulder at Mochi

“Hello dear,” He greeted cheerfully, stilling inside Kidomaru once he’d sunk in to the base.

Kidomaru panted heavily and reached over, gently swatting Mochi away

“D-Daddy needs h-his space now,” He huffed, clearly trying to keep an even tone but failing miserably.

Kimimaro rested his head against Kidomaru’s shoulders as he began to rut into him

“So tight,” He purred, digging his fingers into Kidomaru’s hips, leaving little bruises in his gorgeous, dark skin.

They contrasted each other beautifully and Kimimaro loved it. He tightened his grip and quickened his pace, taking immediate notice that Kidomaru was no longer trying to silence himself. Not that Kimimaro was complaining, he loved the sound of Kidomaru’s voice and would never complain to hear him cry out in ecstasy that way. He wrapped his arms around Kidomaru’s waist and pulled him up so he was seated in Kimimaro’s lap, who was now sitting on the bed

“Please, ride me?” He requested.

Kidomaru blushed deeply but nodded, tightly wrapping his arms around Kimimaro and rutting down on his cock, head tilted back, moaning and whimpering from the feeling. Kimimaro littered Kidomaru’s neck with love marks, the thought alone of marking his territory sending him into a love-drunk haze. He winced a bit when Kidomaru’s nails bit into his back, breaking the skin a bit as he clawed at him from the pleasure. Another thing you would  _ never  _ hear him complain about.

Kidomaru’s rutting was getting more erratic, and Kimimaro could tell he was close. He brought a hand down on Kidomaru’s butt in a playful swat, gasping in pleasant surprise when the action caused Kidomaru to tighten up around him and mewl

“I s-see… You have a bit of a m-masochistic side,” He purred breathlessly, bucking his hips to meet Kidomaru’s rutting.

Kidomaru hung his head back sobbed softly as he came. Kimimaro sunk his teeth into Kidomaru’s second right shoulder to silence himself as he was pulled over the edge by the sound of Kidomaru’s lovely voice.

They sat there for a moment, the only sound being their heavy breathing, as they came down from the high. Kidomaru slowly slumped and rested his head against Kimimaro’s shoulder

“Let me know when I get too heavy, and I’ll move,” He mumbled.

Kimimaro chuckled breathlessly

“What if you never get to heavy?” He cooed.

Kidomaru was quiet for a moment before Kimimaro felt a little smile spread across his lips

“Then I guess I’ll just never move.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked the fic, I'm super proud of it.
> 
> Please comment. Comments make me a happy writer and happy writers write more.


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